New Year's Resolutions?

Yes please!!!  I LOVE resolutions!  I'm not up for your typical "I want to eat better, loose weight, etc" stuff.  But I like a challenge!  And I certainly don't limit my resolutions just for the New Year.  I like goals.  I like to set them, strive for them, and then see improvement or the desired result.  In setting goals I believe a good place to start is to ask God to open your eyes to the things that He sees in your life that might need some adjustment.  (Scary thing sometimes!)

Forgive me if this it's sporadic.  I've been writing this in parts between the hours of 11 PM and midnight over the last few weeks.  So..hope you can follow.

Over the last few weeks my call to motherhood has weighed a little heavy on my heart.  Sometimes thinking about all that I'm responsible for as a parent is overwhelming/humbling.  As parents we are responsible for our children.  I want to teach my boys more than their ABC's and 123's.  I want to teach them about what's really important.  I want to build their character.  To look first after others.  To be content.  To be humble.  Encourage them to have a personal, passionate relationship with our Saviour.  Overwhelming, no???  How is it that I can possibly accomplish all of this?  I know that God specifically appointed Tim and me to be the parents of our boys.  He knew my boys even before they were in my womb and he made no mistake in making me their mother.  BUT....sometimes I feel there are other people better suited for the job.  They seem to have it more together.  They seem to be more focused on the things of heaven and they know how to convey that to their children.  I want to be better.  I just wish I had more prior experience/training in motherhood.

Did you ever get the chance to job shadow?  Our junior year in high school we were encouraged to spend a day at the job we wanted to work at "when we grew up".  Motherhood is said to be one of the hardest jobs.  Then why isn't there more training in preparation for it?  They should have internships for motherhood!  I would have done one!  Anyway.

During my time in Colorado I had some time to self-examine some of my "mothering techniques" and certain areas I need to focus on with my boys.  There are certain attitudes, behaviors I saw in each of my boys that I want to mold into the attitude that Christ wants us to have.  Hebrews 12 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus...."  I know this verse speaks directly to our walk as a follower of Christ, but it also speaks to me as a mother.  It gently reminds me of where my focus needs to be and that in order to get to the end I have to put aside some things and take action.

With Colin, I know I need to be more consistent in my discipline.  I need to follow thru with action when I ask him to do something and he doesn't listen.  I tend to let him get away with much more than he should.   So for the last few days, I've really tried to focus on following thru.  Meal time (as with most) is difficult and I have trouble getting him to stay at the table, so this is also becoming a focus for me.  He is also showing signs of boredom.  A few months ago Colin would have been content to "hang-out" all day.  He was pretty laid back and didn't require the need to be entertained, but would happily just follow me around most of the day.  Of course the change could partly be due to adding Blaine to the picture.  In his boredom, he likes to pick on Ryan (which can include hitting), throwing things, and just being destructive in general.  I know these behaviors are also quite normal for a 2 year old but you can see when you are watching him that is partly out of boredom and the need for attention.  So again, action on my part is required in guiding him to the correct behaviors.  Action is also required in finding him constructive things to do.  Ach!  I have trouble with this.  Most activities only keep his attention 5/10 minutes max. My expertise definitely DOES NOT lie in entertaining a 2 year old.  Of course I somewhat remember going thru this same phase with Ryan, so hopefully this too shall pass.  In the meantime I'm thankful for the semi-nice weather so he can run around in the back yard.  I'm also open to other suggestions that will help hold his attention longer than 5 minutes. 

Ryan can be sensitive.  I am somewhat praying this is just a 4-year-old thing, but also praying for the wisdom to know how to respond.  I honestly have THE HARDEST TIME responding to his tears because his feelings were hurt because he didn't get what he wanted.  I really want to say "Suck it up.  Get over it."  (Which sometimes I do). I'm not sure this is the attitude I'm supposed to have though.  So praying for guidance in that situation.  Sometimes Ryan plays great by himself.  Other times it's like pulling teeth to get him to go play in his room by himself.  Sometimes I feel guilty though about how much I "depend' on him to take care of himself/entertain himself.  I definitely want to encourage him to be independent, but sometimes I feel like I just have him "along for the ride."  I want to find a happy medium.  I want him to know he is loved and cherished and not just being pushed aside.  My goal with Ryan is to continue to give him things that cause him to grow intellectually, but more importantly I want to deliberately be taking the time to mold his heart.  It's just difficult to know exactly how to do it.  I'm sure this is typical child, but he is constantly telling me what he wants (toys mainly).  I continually tell him how God wants us to be happy with what we have, but how can I really burn that truth into his heart?  Which then also causes me to question what he is seeing.  Is what I'm telling him different from what he is perceiving?  Am I continually wanting more?  Plus with all the things that Grandma's/Grandpa's/we parents like to get him...is this just counteracting the command to be content?  (There is a huge part of me that wants to throw a majority of his toys away.)  I want his heart to be sensitive to the needs of others and to put others before himself.  I know this takes deliberate teaching though...one that I might have possibly lacked on in the past  So again, another goal for me to focus in on for him, and our family.  I have a few ideas.

My other goal with both of them is to make sure I take the time to give them some personal one-on-one attention.  Whether it be playing a game, sitting to read a book, or a special "Mommy & Me Date".  I know that they need it.

There are two books that I have read in the past that I believe speak directly to these issues.  Both worth another read when I get the chance.  The first is "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp.  It speaks about looking at the motive that is behind the behaviour and fixing the attitude, not just the behaviour.  The other book I read more recently is "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson.  EXCELLENT book!  She does a wonderful job of breaking down what God has called us to teach our children and gives great practical examples at the end of each chapter.  I would love to read some of her other stuff as well, plus all the resources she listed in the back!

Well, those are a few of my resolutions/goals/whatever it is you want to call them.  I know I won't always get it right, but I know where my focus is supposed to be.  I'm thankful that when He does call me to self-examine myself he gives me guidance.

Proverbs 3: 6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your path."

Proverbs 4:11 "I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths."

Happy New Year All!  Are you setting any goals for yourself?  Is there something that God has set on your heart to re-examine?