Do I really believe God?

A few months back I started a bible study with a group of ladies from my church.  We were studying Believing God by Beth Moore.  I didn't finish the study due to Tim's R&R, then having Blaine (excuses, excuses..I know).  But at the time, and again recently with the additional test that Blaine has to take, a certain question/issue has been put on my heart.  It challenges the level of my faith and the way I pray.

Psalms 77:13-14 "Your ways, O God, are holy.  What god is so great as our God?  You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples."

Here area few excerpts from one chapter:
"Our focus throughout our third week of study will be God's ability to intervene miraculously in the lives of mortals....Please consider each one prayerfully.
 -Although the Kingdom era in which we live is not necessarily characterized by signs and wonders, God certainly still performs miracles. 
  -Though God makes countless merciful exceptions, He still reserves the right to supernaturally respond most readily to faith.  Remember what we've learned: faith fills the gap btwn our theology and our reality.
  -Much of the body of Christ is paralyzed by unbelief.  Our unbelief has likely ushered us into a frustrating, disabling cycle: we believe little, so we see little, so we continue to believe little and see little.
  -A popular explanation for the rarity of obvious miracles today is that God no longer performs them, but the unbelief of this generation may be the real obstacle.
  -God is not offended by our requests for supernatural intervention.  On the contrary, God is pleased when we exercise faith.  God is offended when our desire for signs and wonders eclipses our desire for Him or becomes a request for God to prove Himself.  God reads every petition we make on the tablets of our hearts."

I do believe that God still performs miracles.  I've heard multiple stories of sickness being cured.  But do I REALLY, personally, deep down in my soul believe that God can do what he says he can do?  If so, why don't I pray for the miracle?  Why when someone is struggling with an illness do I pray for the doctors, and a correct diagnosis/medication to be given, but not complete healing?  Although Blaine's diagnosis is still unsure at this point, why do I just pray for clear results and the grace to deal with what may come if it is positive?  Why don't I pray for healing?  Is it because I don't believe He will do it?  Is it because I think that it is insignificant for Him to care about?  (Although that's not what I have been taught or not what I'd tell you that that's what I believe.  But is that what my prayer life is saying?)  Why bother asking if I don't think it's going to happen anyway.  Not b/c I don't think he's able, but b/c I don't think he'll choose to.  That's really undermining the power of God though.  Our God is all powerful and able to heal!  If we really believed it then I should be able to pray for it.

Take it past a physical healing.  What other things do I not believe/ask God the "bigger" thing for?  Why do I tend to settle for certain things/people to be the way they are and just ask for grace or understanding through it?  Why don't I ask God for a miraculous change?  I understand that there are times God chooses not to heal or not to create a miraculous change, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't ask at all.  In order for God to work miraculously I have to give Him the opportunity.  And by not asking at all it is cutting Him short and not allowing him to "flex his muscles".

I know this.  At least I say I know this.  Then why does it still seem hard to pray for the miraculous?  Does his choice to not move at times seem like a disappointment or a unbroken promise?  If I don't ask then I can't be let down. ??? (Can someone say trust issues. Uhhh....yeah.)   

James 1:6 "Ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind."

So how do I balance it all?  How do I pray for the miraculous with full expectancy; not doubting; yet still praying "your will be done Lord", and my faith/trust not be dashed in the end no matter the outcome?

O God, teach me to pray.  Diminish my doubt.  Help my unbelief.

Praise God that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us and knows the matters of our heart!