Busy Bag Swap {Part 1: What is a Busy Bag Swap?}

Have you ever heard of Busy Bags? 

A busy bag is a simple, age appropriate activity, normally kept in a Ziploc bag, that can be pulled out for your child to enjoy either with you or on their own.  They can come in very handy when you need just a few minutes of uninterrupted time but don't want to stick them in front of the TV.

Soon after we moved to Germany I heard of a friend back in Texas who had participated in a Busy Bag Swap when she was in Kansas.  I have seen lots of ideas over the Internet on activities to entertain your toddler/pre-schooler, but this was the first time I had heard of a "Swap". 

The idea intrigued me and it sat in my brain for a few months.  After beginning Homeschooling my need to find some activities to help entertain Colin and Blaine became very clear.  It was something that needed to be moved toward the top of my "project" list.  My friend, Marque, also started Homeschooling this year and she found herself in the same position with her 3 year old.  I had mentioned the idea to her in months past, and knew she was interested, so I recruited her to help me with the Swap.   Having someone to do it with, that you know is "on-board" is always a great motivation. 

Why a Swap for these activities?  It's the whole concept of killing two birds with one stone.  Getting more bang for your buck!  There are lots of moms that are probably in a similar situation as you.  1.  A lot of these activities can call for items that are cheaper to be bought in bulk.  What am I going to do with the other 220 magnets, when I only needed 30?  2.  Breaking it up between multiple moms also cuts down on the cost.  If I wanted to make 20 different activity bags it would probably cost me a minimum of $100, to get all the supplies I needed.  Then I'd end up with an excess of supplies.  3.  As I stated above, having someone come alongside you with a like purpose is great motivation!  Knowing that there is a group of women working hard to create an activity that you and your child will benefit from is motivating!

The overall idea is that each mom puts together a set of bags and at a designated time you exchange your bags walking away with multiple activities.  Very much like a cookie exchange!  

You can use these bags to entertain your child while you have to make a quick phone call, during a road trip, at a doctor's appointment, etc.  Some moms have used these Busy Bags to entertain their children during quite-time and have a specified Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, etc box for them to choose certain activities from.  There are plenty of options on when and how to make these usable!

We originally committed to this Swap mid September.  We just hosted our Playdate Exchange and it's November.  This project is not for the faint of heart!  Given that fact that we are overseas, most of us had to order our supplies.  Ordering easily added 1-2 weeks time onto our timeline; even having to extend our playdate a few times waiting on delayed shipments.  If you are in the states, I'm sure you could have a playdate set up 2 weeks from the time you have your committed moms and it wouldn't be a problem.

Are you intrigued?!  Want to host a Swap of your own?!!!  I've got you covered!!  Part 2 will take you step by step in what you need to do to host a Swap.  Part 3 will have the detailed list of all the activities we used for our Swap.  I love my other mommies out there and wanted to make this something that is as simple as possible with a great return!!!

Not a mommy of young ones yourself?  Don't drop out!!  You might not host a Swap, but talk about a cheap, homemade, functional gift!!!  I promise...you make even one or two of these for a young mom that you know she will be forever in your debt!  (If she doesn't appreciate it then she must be that "Super-Mom" everyone keeps talking about!)

If-Then

A few years ago when we moved to Texas I was looking for something to help me in my consistency with discipline, and something with a more Biblical approach.  I had a few ideas, but hadn't put anything together. 

I had managed to make the last few meetings of the MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) group before they took a break for the summer and one of the Mom's on their "Mom Panel" had suggested a very basic If/Then chart.  If you do "this"...Then "this" will happen.

I originally ordered the If-Then chart from Doorposts; the website where the Mom mentioned above had gotten the idea.  It didn't turn out to be exactly what I wanted, but it still gave me the basis and inspiration for making my own.  They have a lot of other great resources as well!

Why a discipline chart, you ask?  Well, here are just some of my arguments for it...

1.  The chart helps me to stay consistent with what consequence is given for each "offense". 

• They say consistency is key in discipline and I believe it is very true not only with what and when, or how often, but that the consequence remains stable.  If I'm just aggravated and spout off whatever punishment I want, one day it might be time out, one day it might be a chore, one day it might be a spanking...there is an uncertainty left for the child to question what Mom's mood might produce.  I've also noticed in the past that if I'm hopping around on the consequence it seems I find myself saying, "Nothing I seem to do is working!"  Normally, because I don't stick with anything long enough to give it a chance to work.
• In our home, we do spankings.  On occassion, the boys will loose a privledge along with a spanking, but we have found the a spanking (done the correct way) produces the best results.

2.  The chart helps Tim and I to stay consistent with each other.

• When this idea first presented itself, I made sure to run it by Tim first.  In all honesty, I think he thought I was a little crazy.  He didn't think it was really needed and argued that our parents didn't need one.  After hearing some of my thoughts on the subject, he agreed to give it a go.  We sat down and reviewed the categories together and came to agreement on what the consequences should be for each child.  Before we began implementing the chart we reviewed it with the boys so that they were well aware of the expectations and the consequences.  The boys know that whether Mom is around, or Dad, that if they lie, the consequence will be the same.  There is no surprise when the consequence is given.

3.  It helps me to not punish or spank out of anger.

• We keep our chart in the bathroom with a spoon.  I can say that 99% of the time if I spank my child right when the offense occurs it is most likely out of anger and frustration and that is a sin on my part.  And in all honesty, sometimes it happens.  I have to seek forgiveness from God and my child over it.  BUT, if I have to stop what I'm doing and go to the bathroom and follow the chart, then it gives myself time to calm down.  The chart is set up to follow a certain order.  Before the consequence comes God's Word.  I don't know about you, but it's hard to be angry after reading His Word.  Therefore, the discipline then becomes what it's meant to be..discipline, not a whiplash of emotions.

4.  It brings us back to the Gospel.

• In Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp it states "The central focus of parenting is the gospel.  You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts.  You need to show them not just the 'what' of their sin and failure, but the 'why'."  Having a scripture linked with the behavior gives us a very clear picture that Christ expects our hearts to be just as pure as our actions and we are given another opportunity to share with our children the importance of His Word. 

5.  It's goal is restoration/reconciliation.

• Again, the chart is set in order.  Just as we don't begin with the consequence, we don't end with it either.  We end with the attitude/behavior that God would like for them to choose the next time the situation might present itself.  We end with an "I love you" and with hugs, and I would like to start ending in prayer as well.  Then if needed, they are to go reconcile themselves with the one that was offended.  Just as God's purpose in disciplining us is to restore ourselves to Himself, our goal in disciplining our children is to bring them back into a right relationship with us and their Creator.  We also hope that in teaching them this idea of reconciliation it will create a habit that will hopefully be instilled in them in childhood that will translate into their relationships as adults. 

• Is this chart "fail-proof"?  No.
• Do we have perfect children?  Of course not!
• As parents, are we well seasoned and have it all figured out? Again, OF COURSE NOT!!
• Do we always follow the chart to a "t"?  No.  We easily get off course.  Many times we have to stop and start over fresh.
• Does this chart cover all discipline issues?   It's not specific, but focuses on the main heart attitudes that we find in our children.  While every situation is different, we believe that most can be "traced-back" to one of these heart issues.  We ask the Lord for discernment and clarity in deciding what the "heart" of the issue is and discipline that.  Again, we aim not to discipline the action, but the attitude!
• Since using this chart have our children stopped having problems with these behaviors/heart issues?  An overwhelming...Of course not!  By disciplining consistently, I do believe that I can see a visible change, but it does not mean that we never have those problems again.  The chart is meant to be used for years and to help with our consistency in parenting.
• Am I claiming this is the best/only way to discipline your child?  No.  I believe that every child is different and that the Lord will grant wisdom in the area of raising them if we ask.  There are TONS of charts and ideas on how to discipline your child.  I just wanted to share something that has helped us.  Keep in mind the chart was orignially created to help ME in staying consitent in my discipline.  It's a tool that I felt I needed. 

So now I've talked all about it you can go here to print the chart that I created to use for our family.  I left a space at the top empty for you to add your child's name, and I left the consequences column empty.  You can print this chart and fill it out by hand and then laminate it to make it a little more durable.  We have a full size 8.5 x 11 page printed that we keep in our bathroom, and I have a small 4x6 that I normally keep in the car or my purse for when we are out and about.  If you would like to be able to edit it yourself, I would be more than happy to email it to you.  Just leave me a comment with your email address!

Stranger Danger!

My friend posted a link to this article, "Tricky People are the New Strangers" on Pinterest just the other day.  Sometimes there is a fine line when teaching our kids about "stranger danger".  We want to teach them wisdom, but not instill fear into their hearts.  I thought this was a great article, and something new and different.  Hope you enjoy!

Book Review {Crazy Love}

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be make more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.

Excerpt from Crazy Love.  Intro of Ch.6

(www.amazon.com)

Good Encouragement

Over the last few months I've been thinking of how I want to use this blog.  I want to make it more consistent without it interfering with my role as a wife/mother.  I really like using it as a journal about my family and I want to continue that.  There is so much more that goes on in my heart and my head that I wish I could put down.  I love to be challenged; especially as a mom.  I love to read articles that speak to the heart of staying home and being content and joyful in that calling.  I love to read articles that will make me think, and make me consider doing something completely "crazy" against the natural movement of most.

For as long as I can remember one of my biggest desires has been to be a stay-at-home mom.  I knew it was a calling worth fulfilling.  Just because the desire is there and I know it is worth it, doesn't mean it has come easily.  I struggle daily with my own selfish desires.  I struggle with wanting more time to myself to improve upon my talents and interests.  Some say there's nothing wrong with that.  What speaks deeply to my heart are the women who speak of serving their family joyfully and wholeheartedly.  Sacrificing some of what they want for pouring their souls into the lives of their children.  For what greater calling is there?

I know there has to be a healthy balance of taking care of me so that I can take care of my family...but there is a part of me that wants to swing more on the side of taking care of me.  I seek the encouragement of women who are on that same path, maybe a little bit farther ahead.

Saying all that, there are a few blogs I check regularly that spurs me on to love my calling.  Some posts seem to stick out more to me than the others and I want to remember those for myself and to share them with you.

So for encouragement #1:

A few months ago my friend Sarah recommended this book to me:

find @ Amazon

Before we left I downloaded it to my Kindle and I only have to find a converter so I can get it charged and start reading it!  We had a few conversations about the book as she was reading it and I look forward to the challenge as we raise 3 boys!

I came across this short video today and it reminded me of the book and the conversations I had with Sarah.  I pray that Tim and I are able to instill in our boys this definition of being a man.  Although I'm sure it gets more complicated as they get older, what a simple way to start!