Coming Together

One month from getting our things and we are, for the most part, in working order!  There is still some organization left to do, but mainly decor.  These pics are from last Saturday and we've already had some additional changes.  The sideways DVD case has been removed and is now empty space that will hopefully, eventually be filled by some chair.  

I've let the curtains out to floor length; it just looks better to me.  I've been told they will eventually turn off the furnaces so it won't matter if they are covered or not.  In the mean time, they are open most of the time and if I do close them I can pick them up and set them in the window sill.  I'm still experimenting with the floating shelves, trying to figure out where to place everything, and trying to locate the spray paint I want so I can repaint a few things.

 

I was so excited to finally get this mirror hung!  I bought it at an Estate Sale in Oklahoma back in June for $25.00!  I just never rearranged our things in Texas to make it fit.  (This picture doesn't do it justice!)  The boxes in the back corner were dropped off at the Thrift Store yesterday and now stands a book shelf with all of our books and movies.  I still have to hem the curtains in this picture and find something to cover the door.  I also have plans for a bench under the mirror and possible a sofa table behind the couch for extra storage (mainly for all our photo albums).  I also need to find something that will work as an end table.

I went back and forth on what to do with the wall space in the dining room.  I really wanted to put the floating shelves in there and I new it would look really nice, but I was afraid they would create more trouble.  I envisioned the boys turning around in their chairs and trying to hang from the shelves.  :)

So gallery wall it is!  I still have about 10 pictures that I need to re-mat, and if you look close enough some that I need to print pictures for.  I love my book page wreath that my friend, Sarah, made me right before we left.  I was a little down-hearted when I pulled it out of the box and it seemed that pages were falling all over the place and it's shape was a little more oval than round, but with a little love it looks great.  It was also the first thing that I hung up in our new house!!!  I had to pull our only side table from the living room over to the dining room so I would have something to put our modem and phone on, since that is where the only jack is.

I am in the process of deciding on curtains for the dining room.  Most of the curtains in store here seem to be sheer.  I even bought some; one is hanging up now actually.  I just don't like it.  I do need curtains though!  A lot of the German houses, and some of the military housing have built in shutters that you can open and close.  For those it makes sense as to why most of the curtains are sheer, but we don't have those.  The sun comes through those windows between 4 and 5 PM and it's blinding!  I'm open to suggestions!!  For those of you who follow me on Pinterest, go to my 'For the Home' Board and look at what I've pinned and tell me what you like!  I was debating something with some red or blue, but with the 'beige' color of the walls (that seem to have a peachy tone) I'm leaning more towards something brown with a bold pattern.

More rooms to come!!

Household Goods & Setting Up House

Our Household Goods arrived about a week earlier than we expected them too.  Not only did they arrive early but we only got a 24 hour notice.  Tim got a call Thursday morning, 23 February, telling us they would deliver our goods on Friday, 24 February.  Not such a bad thing, but we were planning on finishing our painting over the weekend so we ended up having to stay up late Thursday night and knocking out the living room.  We figured it would be much harder to paint around all the boxes.

The other problem it created was that we had to call to have all of our temporary furniture picked up.  Tim had received the call from transportation right around 9:20 AM, I called the Furniture Management office at 9:35 AM and the guy was not happy.  Thankfully he wasn’t really angry with me…but he still used some language.  Double thankful that he worked the schedule to fit us in.  Just not any specific time.  So we tried to condense the furniture into a few corners to make way for all of the incoming.

The movers showed up right around 8:30/9AM Friday morning and they were done unloading our things by 11AM.  The last item they brought up was our mattress, but they had yet to assemble our bed, so Tim rushed to get the frame together so they would have a place to put it.  Then we had them help assemble our kitchen table and that was it.  We were left to sort and assemble the rest.  (You have the option for them to unpack everything for you, but I think that would create a chaos that I would not want to witness!)  

Our last movers were really good about sorting the boxes as they came out of the truck by room and then bringing them in the house on the dolly that way.  These guys weren’t.  It made it difficult to direct them which box went where.  For the most part I had them dump around 80% of the boxes in the 4^th bedroom, figuring I’d sort thru them later.  And for those of you (few I’m sure) who have never moved before…I’ve included a few pictures of what it may look like.

 

Tim started putting the boys bunk beds together and I decided to start in the kitchen.  Definitely not the most exciting room to unpack but probably one of the most needed.  I unwrapped about two coffee cups and was already lacking interest to go any further.  I do best when I can see everything that needs to be put away, so I just started unwrapping and setting it all over the table/counters/floor/etc.

 

I had tried my best ahead of time to work it out in my head where everything would go, but it didn’t work out.  I pretty much filled the cabinets with what I could, looked around at what was left, and gave up.  I don’t know what I did next.  Probably ate some chocolate or something….and watched Tim finish the bunk beds.  I didn’t bother touching the kitchen again till the next day.  Once I thought about the arrangement all night I was pretty sure I had figured it out.  I’m still not sure I like it 100%, but it is workable/manageable for now.

It took me a week to unpack everything…for the most part.  Before Tim left for the field he helped get a good deal of the living room, both the boys’ room’s, the linen closet, and our bedroom unpacked.  I still have a few boxes of books, but since I don’t have a bookshelf to put them on, I just figured I’d leave them in the boxes for now.  There were things I put away in one closet then when I unpacked another box I realized that the stuff in that box would work better in that closet...so I did a lot of rearranging.  Still am.  Some things are unpacked and in the closets of the rooms they are supposed to be but they are not organized by any means.  I imagine it’ll take a few months to get back around to everything to organize it how I would like.  The last thing I unpacked was all of our pictures.  The boys helped and thought it was like Christmas getting to unwrap them all.  At this point, a majority of them are still on the floor in the 4^th bedroom. 

There are a few things that we unpacked that made us say, “What were we thinking?!!!”  Things like some old curtain rods.  They are pretty much just tin rods.  I don’t even have the ends or the hangers anymore.  I think they were in the garage and they got overlooked when we were sorting and so they got packed.  We unpacked an empty shoe box.  Again…why?  You think the packers might have asked us about that one before packing it?!  We also packed our Texas Phone Book, our US Road Map, and our Sport Clips "Get 6 haircuts, get one Free!" coupon.  I’m sure all of those will come in very useful over here!!!  

We were also pleased that we came away from this move with only one casualty.  Pleased that it was just one.  But still sad at which one.  Our desk broke.  We kind of saw it coming.  It’s the desk that we just recently refinished; you can view it here.  The leg cracked…almost all the way through, but it was completely bent out of shape.   

Since it is the only desk we have, Tim “mended” it for me until I can find something else I like.  Once I find another desk I plan on taking off the top and cutting it down so I still have a little side table with drawers.  Possibly to go in our bedroom.  

^th bedroom though ‘cause that’s where my sewing machine is!  I’ve been getting a few pictures up a day, but I also came down with a sore throat two days ago; which for some reason leaves me feeling incapacitated.   The boys are just lucky they are getting fed.  And yes, grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and dinner in the same day count.  I’m also on the hunt for a few more furniture items, but can’t seem to find exactly what I’m looking for.  So there’s a slight delay in the process.   I’m picky.  Or I know what I want, but it’s back in the good US of A and they won’t ship it to me.  If I’m going to spend money on something though I want it to be on something I love and that I know I will use/keep for a while.  

I also have to figure out a solution to our curtains.  All the windows have radiators under them, so I don’t think any of my floor length curtains will work…which are pretty much all of my curtains.  I’m going to try and adjust them somehow without it being permanent.  I’m getting tired of having trash bags on our windows!  I’ll try and get pics posted as I finish a room!

Church

Church here is different.  It’s been a while since either Tim or I have attended chapel, but it is still different from when we did.  We have attended six weeks, I think, and a different chaplain has spoken every time.   

Normally, back in the states, you could have three or four chapels on one post with different services to choose from and a steady chaplain.  Plus, other services might be held by other Chaplains at other facilities, ie the movie theater.  Since there is only one chapel, but many Chaplains they share the duties of Sunday morning preaching. 

It’s not completely a bad thing, but it can make it hard to know who to direct your questions at.  It has taken some time adjusting to the constant switch.  It also means that some Sundays you are struggling to pay attention because that particular Chaplain has not moved out from behind the pulpit once, nor has he spoke in more than once decibel.  Doesn’t mean the message is bad…just makes it harder sometimes.  Some just have an annoying voice.  Other Sundays you may be deeply challenged and the preaching is motivating.  Some Chaplain’s pray very concisely, others pray more freely.  I prefer the ones that pray more freely.  Out of the six weeks we’ve attended, I’d say it’s been about half and half on the quality of preaching.  We’ve already pinned a few of the Chaplain’s as our favorites and we get excited if we see their names in the Bulletin when we come in.

Some parts of the service are still very liturgical, other parts are more contemporary.   Every week though seems to make some of the things that were at first different and strange…and the things that make you miss your old church… a little more normal.  

They have PWOC for the women, which I have been able to attend three times so far and I have really enjoyed.  They also have a lunch Bible Study for the men, but Tim’s work schedule hasn’t allowed him to go yet.  We were excited to here that they have AWANA for the kids.  While we are very interested in AWANA for the boys, I am always cautious not to jump into too many things too quickly.  We still have a lot going on just at home and the boys do better on a more relaxed schedule.  Just having to go take and go get Ryan from school adds a little extra stress (mainly to Colin).  Unless something changes I think we are going to start them in the fall after Colin turns 4, that way both Ryan and Colin can attend.  They currently don’t have a program for the 3 year olds.

We were also very excited to learn of a new Chaplain for Tim’s Company.  He and his family arrived a few weeks after we did and we were able to hear him preach the Sunday before Tim left for the field.  It’s been a while since Tim has had a good Chaplain and we are very excited with what we have seen/heard so far!

We know that the transition can take a while but I think we are starting to get more excited about the opportunities that are offered and we are starting to seek out ways in which we can serve as well.

Book Review {Kisses From Katie}

I came across Katie’s blog a few years ago and was blown away by her selflessness and her insight.  There are a few blogs that I come across on occasion that leave me astounded and deeply moved.  Katie’s would be one of them.   I lost track of her for a while but heard last year that she had a book coming out.   I knew it would be one to read.  

Kisses from Katie is somewhat of an autobiography with a deeper message that leaves you challenged to be a radical servant to others.  Around the age of 19 God called Katie to not only minister to the orphans in Uganda, but to start Amazima, a non-profit organization that supports children throughout Uganda that allows them to attend school.  She has also heard and accepted the Lord’s calling to adopt 14 young girls as her own.

The book was so good, and such an easy read, I finished it in one day (including one late night).  Living in America it is so easy to get caught up in the luxuries and easy access we have to whatever we might want.  Katie’s book is a great eye opener/reminder to those who are struggling for 1 meal a day.  

While her book left me contemplating many things I am most impressed with her servant’s heart as a mother to her girls.  The fact that I dred (a majority of the time) cooking dinner for five a few times a week, giving baths every other night is sad compared to the meals she not only cooks for  her 14 girls every day, plus hundreds of other children on the weekends. 

I sometimes got caught up in “I deserve this” moments; I still do.  I have moments when I compare myself to other people and trick myself into believing that I am doing pretty well.  There are still moments when I believe I should be able to relax and do nothing some afternoons, instead of taking care of one more sick person.  There are moments when I think that because I have worked hard all day, I deserve to be able to sit down and eat my food instead of answering the door for one more person who needs help.  

The truth is that these thoughts are not at all scriptural.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that I deserve a reward here on earth Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do work at it with all your heart.” It does not end in, “and after this hard work you deserve a long hot bath and some ‘me time’.”  It does end with, “ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.”  

Her life is much different than mine, but serving my family selflessly is one of my biggest struggles.   It is a message that I have heard many times, but I am still working on getting my heart and attitude there.

Her passion is great and I hope you will put her book on your reading list if you have one!  Here are a few more “teasers”…..

-The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on the earth proclaim to be Christians.

The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would card for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.

This is the Truth.  I have the freedom to believe it.  The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it.  The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible.

-The Lord has shown me that the more I give of myself, the more He fills me up.  The more I love, the more love I have to give.

-I believe that God is in control, yes, but I also believe I have a choice:  I can follow Him or I can turn my back on Him.  I can say yes to Him, or I can say no.  I can go to the hard places or I can remain comfortable.  And if I remain comfortable, God who loves us unconditionally will continue to love me anyway.  I may still see His glory revealed in my life and recognize His blessings, but not like I could have.  I can miss the will of God.  The rich young ruler certainly did.  He didn’t fall dead, as Ananias and Sapphira did; and maybe he went on to live a great life, but it wasn’t the life he could have lived had he said yes to what Jesus was asking of him.

-Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it.  After all, the murder had to take place before the resurrection.

-I am waiting and God is teaching me this:  I beg Him to bring me close to His heart, to even transform my heart that I might be more like His.  I think orphan care gets us close, because He sees us as orphans.  I think adoptions gets us close, because this is how He brings us into His family.  The poor, the beggar, the widow, the prisoner, the get us close to His heart because these people are so dear to Him.  

But nothing gets us much closer than injustice.

When babies starve and people die cold and alone and children are ripped from their parents—these are some of the injustices of a broken world.  And I think of a Savior who spent His whole life doing nothing but good, saving and healing and feeding and helping even the most undeserving of people, dying on a cross like a thief or a murderer.  I think of a Father, a Father who desires good things for His children even more than I desire good things for mine, a Father who could have stopped His Son’s torture at any time but instead watched it happen.  For me.  For you.  And I weep at the injustice of it.  He knows this pain.  He knows what it is to lose a child to the injustice of a fallen world.  And so while I still cry and beat my fists on the floor, I find comfort in that, and I ask to be closer still.

You can find Katie’s blog here.  You can also support her ministry or purchase magazine bead necklaces made by the women of Masese (some of the women she ministers too) here.

Color!!

If nothing else, I love Bamberg simply for the fact that they let us paint the walls in our house!!!  Having color on your walls makes such an AMAZING difference.  The best thing about it is that it was practically free!

They have what they call a Pastel Painting Program here.  They allow you to paint your house, from a pre-selected color palate and you don’t have to repaint when you leave.  They issue you a basic painting kit and they give you all the paint you need…for free!   

We invested in a better trim brush and two rolls of painters tape, but that’s it.  I can’t imagine them having a program like that in the states where sometimes families are only there for a few months or you have 10 times as many housing units to keep up with.  It makes sense over here though since you have 3 years, usually.   

I was beyond excited when I heard about the program!  A little nervous with the fact that it was called the PASTEL Painting Program.   I’ve never been a huge fan of pastels.  My heart even sank a little bit the first time I went down to the Self Help Office and saw the color options.  The five options are: beige, light blue, light green, light pink, and yellow.  The only color sample they have is on a two foot by 6 inch board that is posted on the wall in the office.  The lighting in there is terrible, so it was a little hard to tell, but I took a chance and started with the beige.  I had been debating back and forth in my mind for about a week if I was going to take a chance on the blue in the living room or not, but I suckered out and asked for three gallons of beige.  I figured if I still decided to try the blue I could break it up a bit by doing the dining room in beige.

In my opinion beige is still better than white!  I was still second guessing myself on my color choice so I decided to start with the beige in the dining room area and see how it actually looked.  Tim helped me get it up one night after the boys went to bed.  Overall, I like it.  I think it will go well with our dining room set.  To me it has a bit of a peachy tone to it.  It could just be the lighting and the fact that the floors have a warm tone to them.  Tim said I was crazy at first, but even Ryan woke up the next morning and asked why the walls were peach.  Depending on the time of day and from what angle you look at it depends on if it looks a little more tan, or more peach.  

After getting the walls in dining room painted I decided that I needed to take a chance with the blue.  So I took back my other two gallons of beige and exchanged them.  Tim and I had to “rush” to get it done that night since we got the call that morning that our stuff was going to come the next day.  We knew it would be much harder to paint once all of our goods arrived.  The blue looked almost annoying going up but it dried much nicer.  It was brighter than what I was expecting from his paint sample.  The blue still seemed a bit odd for a few days but sometimes I just think it takes a few days to get used to something.  Especially when it’s such a big color change.  It looks even better now that our furniture is here.  I can’t wait to share pictures!

I had planned on stopping with the living room, as I didn’t see how any of the other colors would fit in the boys’ rooms.  Plus a majority of their walls are covered by their bunk beds anyways.  After I got the blue on and I saw that it turned out a little better than I was expecting I figured I’d go ahead and take a chance with the yellow in our bedroom.  It’s definitely not the yellow I would have chosen.  It would have to be four or five shades lighter in order for me to love it. But it’s up and it’s staying up.

All in all, I am very pleased with the way it has turned out.  None of the colors are exactly what I would have chosen if I had the choice, but I am very grateful for the opportunity to add some more color to our home.  We’ve had white walls for far too long.  

The only other draw back is that it is all water based paint.  I had scuffs and marks on the walls before 24 hours had even passed.  Since it is water based, Mr.Clean’s Magic Erasers not only take off the marks, but the paint.  So I’ll be holding out as long as I can before the marks just about drive me insane then I’ll have to try and spot paint.  (Of course the ARMY’s version of ‘spot painting’ is painting the entire wall…so we’ll see.)

February {In Pictures}

In our full bathroom there is this low ledge that runs along the entire back wall.  I really don't know if it was built with an intentional purpose, but Blaine seems to think it was made for him.  ;)  I can't count the times I have found him in there sitting on the ledge.

Brotherly love...

 

Blaine playing with his "new" (Melissa & Doug) toy.  Ryan and I took our recycling out on a Sunday afternoon and found this toy and another Melissa & Doug toy set out for recycling.  They were in great shape, and since out stuff hadn't arrived yet I snatched them up.

 

Blaine's second most favorite spot in the house is inside any closet.

Colin playing with our new friend, Miss Kelsie, on one of the "warmer" days during the first few weeks here.

This is the look Blaine rocked most of the time the first few weeks.  Again, this was on a "nicer" day, otherwise he'd have his bigger coat on and swaddled in a blanket.  The plastic though would keep the snow/rain/wind out and in theory, we believe, make a little heat bubble for him.

 

Blaine being silly with his newly found utensil skills.

 

Ryan and Colin playing in their "sneaky hats".

Again, in another closet.

Trying to pass the time as we wait for our movers to deliver our household goods...

And this is what you may look like the day after delivery day, when your parents decide to make a trip to IKEA, on a SATURDAY no less, and you loose your bear (comfort item) somewhere in the store, refuse your afternoon nap since you don't have your bear, then fall asleep sitting up around 6:30 PM.  :)

 

I realized in January that I really hadn't taken many pictures of Blaine as I did of Ryan and Colin at that age...typical right.  So I did my best to be more intentional about getting my camera out.  Now I'm noticing I took a lot of Blaine and only a few of Ryan and Colin.  Something to adjust. :)

Free Time

Since we haven’t had the Internet for the last two months and nothing else in the house to do I’ve noticed the amount of free time I have had and how I use it.  I’m definitely looking forward to getting our things and the Internet back, but I hope to be more disciplined about how I spend my time.  

I think I finished about four books in the first few weeks we were here.  Granted they were all pretty easy reads…but that’s more than I’ve read in the last year.  I always seemed to finish them sooner than I thought I would too.  I would make a trip up to the CAC (Community Activity Center. AKA Free Internet) to download a book thinking it would last me a few days…only to be finished the following day stuck with nothing else to read.

Tim seemed to take over the Kindle for a few days reading a book of his own, so I think I lost my momentum.  I have two more that I’ve started but I believe both are going to be very spiritually challenging.  There’s a part of me that is somewhat scared to continue.  I’ve been praying over the last few days that I will be prepared to accept whatever it is the Lord wants to teach me through reading these books.  

Anyway.  Free time.

I swept a lot.  I found myself sweeping three or four times a day.  I would even mop.  Cleaning in general.  The bathrooms got cleaned once a week, opposed to every other.  I kept up with the dishes for the most part.

I was more consistent with helping Ryan with his reading.

I can’t say all my time was used wisely.

There was one day where my sole goal was to beat Tim’s record on the Dojo portion of Fruit Ninja on our Kindle.  I am proud to say I succeeded! 

My New Norm

9 February 2012

To say I’ve had a little trouble adjusting is probably an understatement.  I’ve definitely made my complaints known to some and pouted in my own way.  I know my attitude hasn’t been the best, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to flip it.

While reading Loving the Little Years, there was a chapter that has really stuck in my mind.  Here’s a few clips….

One of the most difficult things my children can do is grow.  And they just keep doing it, don’t they?  It seems like we just find a routine and things are fairly manageable.   I am feeling pretty good about the laundry, about the discipline, and about the whole situation.   Then it seems like we wake up one morning and nothing works anymore.

…It is like all my children have a growth spurt at the same time and develop new needs.  This is only a problem when Mom doesn’t have a growth spurt herself.  Even more of a problem when Mom refuses to have one, and demands that everyone else get back into clothes that are too tight. 

…You know those pain scales at the hospital, where they rate your pain from one to ten?  Well, pretend that you are screaming, “Thirteen, thirteen! Fifteen!”  What that should tell you is that it is time to restart the whole thing, stop screaming, and just deal with the fact that this in now the new “one”.  Start over, and accept the new “normal”.

While in this chapter she was speaking specifically to the changes that your kids go through (ie no longer needing a nap) which causes a change/response in your entire family structure, I have been faced with MANY changes that require a better response that what what I have given so far.

I’m taking this advice and in my mind I’m turning around everything that is new and inconvenient and doing my best to make it the new norm.

My new norm is….

·         An Average of 10 degrees lately.  *Not including windchill.
·         Walking Ryan to school at 7:30 in the morning, in the 10 degree weather, sometimes while it’s snowing, with Colin and Blaine in tow.  (And why yes…coincidentally, it is uphill. J )
·         Making multiple trips to the Commissary in one week opposed to my normal twice a month.
·         Hardwood floors; which in turn means never-ending immense amounts of visible dirt /salt/snow/muddy water tracked in from outside. (Still trying to figure out how to conquer this one!)
·         Waking Blaine and Colin up prematurely from their afternoon naps so we can walk back to school to pick Ryan up.
·         The strong possibility that Tim will only make it home in time for dinner *maybe* twice a week.  Lately we are blessed if he makes it home before the boys are already in bed.
·         Other joys of apartment living. (See previous post here.)
·         Burning various things as we are learning the temperament of our “new” oven. (haha..I just realized I used temperament when describing the oven.  Real corny.)

It hasn’t done me any good to complain about much of these things that I can’t change.  I’m praying I can keep the refreshed outlook and it will help the adjustment go a bit smoother.

Book Review {Loving The Little Years}

Talk about an easy read!  I think I finished this book in a matter of hours!  Seriously.  It has 20 chapters, but the longest chapter is no more than 6 pages long.  If you haven’t read a parenting book in a while and need a place to start I would suggest this one!  Even if you only have five minutes of quiet…that’s at least one chapter down.  Even though the chapters are short they are straight and to the point and will leave you thinking and adjusting.

 (amazon.com)

I first learned of this book through a friend, Jordan.  You can find her blog here.  She has referenced some of the author’s other articles in her postings in the past and I always found myself deeply challenged by them.  The author, Rachel, has five children herself, all under the age of five.  I’m not exactly sure what I thought the book would be about, but I don’t think it was exactly what I thought it was going to be.  I still loved it all the same. 

She had me in the first paragraph of the first chapter:

If there is anything I have learned in the course of my fast and furious mothering journey, it is that there is only one thing in my entire life that must be organized.  The kids can be running like a bunch of banshees through a house that appears to be at the bottom of a toaster, and yet, if organization and order can still be found in my attitude, we are doing well.  But if my attitude falters even in the midst of external order, so does everything else.

Yes, my attitude is always my nemesis.

Some other little tidbits:

As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first.  This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

It is no abstract thing-the state of your heart is the state of your home.  You cannot harbor resentment secretly toward your children and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender.  You cannot be greedy with your time and expect them to share their toys.  And perhaps most importantly, you cannot resist your opportunities to be corrected by God and expect them to receive correction from you.

While your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice.  Sacrifice your peace for their fun.

Fat souls are better than clean floors……Most of the time the children do not know that what they are doing is overwhelming.  This is because they do not forget that they are individuals.  Now I am not saying that there are not times when I just say, “Sorry kids, not a good time for helpers.”  I do plenty of that.  It is just that a whole lot of time it is a fine time for helpers—even a good time for them, if I am willing to get the grace for it.

If you want some quality “me time,” make a date with your husband.  Do something special with your children.  These people are you.  Your identity is supposed to be intertwined—that is the way God wrote the story, and it is the way He intends us to read it.

She also shares some great examples on how to teach the children and has great metaphors throughout the book.  Some that I never would have thought of.

Setting behaviors into stories is a great way to communicate with your little people.  Got a boy hitting a sister?  Tell him about a brave knight who went out to fight the dragon but started hitting the princess instead.  Give the children a chance to get outside themselves and see their behavior as it plays out in a story.  It often turns out that they know exactly the right thing to do.

And again, another book pointing to the importance on focusing on the heart.

It is important to stick to principles, teach principles, and then sort out the details in the light of them.  You need to look at what you think is happening in hearts and address that.

I could go on and on.  There were so many good things in this book!  Just one more though…

Joy is not giddy.  It is not an emotional rush—it is what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil.  So rejoice in your children.  Look them in the eyes and give thanks.  You will not even remember the work of all this planting when the harvest of joy overwhelms you.

Rumor Has It

Lots of talk has been going around as far as what Tim’s Battalion is doing once they get through this deployment.  The battalion he is with now is just a support section to the main unit which is in Italy.  Apparently, after this deployment the support unit will no longer be based in Bamberg.  

There was originally talk that the soldiers would have a choice to either stay with the 173^rd and move to Italy when the deployment is over and start their 3 year tour over, or they could transfer to a different unit and stay in Bamberg.  

The fact that they are giving the option to the soldiers sounded a little “too good to be true”.  Talk has already changed that there will be no choice to make and that everyone will be going.  Some have even said that they plan on moving the families to Italy during the deployment and the soldiers won’t even return here.  I was wondering how they planned to accommodate all of the families that would be moving there and rumors are they have built/are building new housing for the battalion in Italy.

The latest “rumor” that came around this week is that they are only going to activate 60% of Tim’s Battalion for the upcoming deployment.  Meaning that there is a 40% chance that Tim won’t have to go.  Still not the best odds, but we’ll take it!!!  My heart cries out prayers all day that he is in the 40%, but at the same time I don’t want to get my hopes up.  There is also a part of me that feels selfish to ask such a thing when there are still many families who will still have to endure another deployment.  

We only get pieces of information every few weeks and the ARMY is fickle so it’s hard to say at this point…but it looks like we might be moving to Italy at some point.  That also means we could be in Europe for up to 4 ½ years.  So for those of you who would like to come visit…that gives you a little bit larger of a window.   :)

Book Review {5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son}

Thank you Sarah for recommending this book!  I loved reading it and I think it only took me about a week.  It was refreshing, eye-opening, at times brutally honest which also made it a little scary a times for the task that is at hand.  It will definitely need to be re-read every few years to make sure some of the conversations are being discussed; especially in the pre-teen/teen years.

 (amazon.com)

There are some great topics in this book!  Discussions on today’s image of a man, helicopter mom’s, self-control,  a new and improved sex talk, co-habitation, marrying at a younger age, and launching your boys from boyhood to adulthood!

Most importantly, Vicky stresses throughout the book the importance of the heart of the matter.  It’s a great message that I first read/understood when reading Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp a few years ago.  It is something I truly believe in and long to do but I think I have strayed from it a bit lately. 

In a later chapter Vicky makes it clear:

The truth is we can train our sons to be chivalrous, polite, obedient, selfless, honest, and humble, but if their behavior is not motivated by a love for Christ and a desire to follow Him, they are relying on goodness rather than godliness.  Isaiah 64:6 reminds us that our righteous acts are like filthy rags.  But the sternest warning comes from Christ and His harsh words to the Pharisees:  “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!  You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.  Blind Pharisee!  Fist clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean” (Matt. 23:25-26).

Employing behavior modification strategies without addressing the heart does nothing more than put a BAND-AID on the problem.  We must get to the heart of the matter.

It is easy to react to our sons’ sins with a set of swift consequences that discourage a repeat of the sins.  However, we need to take the time to address the sins at the heart level in an effort to offer a permanent solution.   We can’t make our sons experience godly sorrow or, for that matter, even repent, but we can remind them of their need for a Savior and the price that was paid.

For me, this is a great reminder/challenge about what is most important when disciplining my boys.  It’s easy to focus on the behavior and not take the time to help them slow down and focus on their heart and where it is in relation to God’s Word.  And, most of the book does at times seem like the conversations will come into play at a later age…but this...this I can do this now.  I can start laying the foundation of teaching them to mirror every action next to the Word of God.

I know a few of you who have also been seeking books specifically on raising boys.  Vicky has done her research and there are plenty of references to choose from throughout her book!  Most are not books specifically on how to raise boys, but from how I see it…just understanding boys in general.  Here are a few that I think might be worth looking into, if you haven’t heard of them already:

1.       The Mind of Boys by Michael Gurian.  He has trained teachers to handle the differences between girls and boys, and makes suggestions on how to help boys in the classroom.
2.       Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. 
3.       Boys Must Be Boys by Meg Meeker.
4.       Raising Sons and Loving It! By Gary and Carrie Oliver
5.       Making Sense of the Men in Your Life by Kevin Leman
6.       That’s My Son by Rick Johnson

A few of these are definitely going on my list!!!

Vicky also has a section on her website that her husband put together containing activities and a list of books/training materials that they used for reinforcing each of the conversations discussed in the book.  Since we don’t currently have Internet I haven’t been able to look at them, but I’m excited to see what is there!  Just in case you beat me to it you can co here {www.vickicourtney.com} then click on the link to the 5 Conversations blog.

I do believe there is one paragraph that sticks out more so than any other in the book.  I remember my friend, Sarah, referencing to it as well when she read it.

Deep in a mother’s heart, she knows that when it comes time for her son to leave, he will leave both physically and emotionally.  He will eventually turn his attention to another woman who will become the recipient of his adoration.  Of course our sons will still love us, but their feelings won’t be manifested in the same way a daughter’s feelings would be toward her mother.  Our role is to prepare them to love another, all the while, enjoying every minute of the brief season when we reign as queen in their hearts. 

If you are a mother of a boy…doesn’t that just make your heart ache a little?!  It’s a gentle reminder of how precious my time is with my boys and I know I take it for granted all too often.  

  If you have a girl she has a book for you too!  5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter.

January {In Pictures}

I'm following the lead of a good friend and I am going to try to post all my left-over pics...or in some cases all of my pics, from the month that I never seemed to get around to.  Some are from the week before we flew to Germany here goes...

The boys were outside playing so Blaine and Baylee decided to take over the job as Super-heroes...

We decided to be Red-neck family one day and we all (6 adults, 6 kids, and 1 dog) jumped in Tim's truck and drove to the back pasture to do some shooting.

This is Liz getting the first set of instructions..

 This was the first time the boys got to shoot and they were super excited! 

 

Liz & Baylee

 

 

Yes, I did shoot...just didn't get any pics of it.  Tim did get it on video though!

This was a shot Tim snapped of me packing.  I was attempting to get our carry-ons all sorted.

The boys in the Frankfurt Airport...the morning after the nightmare.

In guest housing.  Blaine was throwing a fit so I put him on the floor for a minute to cry it out.  Next thing we knew..he was fast asleep.  

 

Blaine awake and playing with the phone...at 3 o'clock IN THE MORNING!!!

 

 In our new house!!!! The boys helped me clean the kitchen before we put anything away.