First Trimester Fog

I woke up Sunday morning feeling invigorated.  I think the First Trimester Fog is starting to lift!!!  Praise the Lord!!!

 

 

Although, I still managed an hour and a half nap yesterday :), things do seem to be getting better.  My brain has been able to entertain a thought through to it's completion!  The nausea seems to be few and farther in between.  In the last two days alone I've started and finished about three extra projects...plus cooked dinner (that was something other than grilled cheese or hot dogs)!!!  That's quite an improvement!  I've managed to keep up with some of the regular chores the last few days, ran two errands off post, and typed up a few blog posts!

 

 

The first trimester definitely doesn't hit me as hard as it does others, but it still makes a visible impact!  Grateful to be leaving it behind!   Continuing to pray for a smooth, healthy road ahead!

 

 

My Frustration Update

I know a lot of you have been praying for me, so I figured I'd go ahead and post an update concerning my back.

Since my last post I continued to search out various options on what to do for my back pain.  I had stopped doing the stretches the Physical Therapy guy gave me and it seemed to help some, but I was still having pains in my left leg and I even started to limp.  The following Monday I went for my first OB appointment hoping that she could maybe refer me to someone.  According to her, the pains in my leg were due to the fact that my pelvic muscles aren't strong enough.  Uhhhh.......ok.  She gave me an unofficial referral to another physical therapist.  I would of taken on unofficial referral to a chiropractor, but why pay for a physical therapist when the one on post was free and didn't seem to be helping.?.  Another dead end.

I went ahead and set up another appointment with the Physical Therapist on Post that I had been seeing.  I went in at 3 PM on Wednesday afternoon.  He gave me a different stretch to do, and I did probably about 15 repetitions of it in his office.  He agreed that there was probably a pinched nerve, but according to him..nothing he could do about it.  About 15/20 minutes after I left his office, I could tell that my leg was getting worse.  After dinner, I pretty much went back in my room and laid on my bed.  My 9 PM I couldn't put any pressure on my left leg and couldn't walk on my own.  (I can't tell you how grateful I am that my husband is home!)

The following three days were ROUGH!  The mornings were always better, but by lunch I was normally in a lot of pain and just plain tired.  I was still having trouble walking.  Usually once I got up and going I could do it on my own, just with a limp.  Ryan was a great help during the day when Tim was at work to help get me across the living room until I could get to a wall to help support myself.

In the meantime, I had also contacted the local Yoga instructor hearing great things about her and hoping that she could help in some way.  It looked promising at first, but then I told her I was pregnant and again...I got a no.  Another dead end.  She currently does not have her pre-natal yoga training and didn't feel comfortable coming up with a specialized treatment for me.

On Thursday morning, I was able to have a German spouse come over and help me make some phone calls to a few chiropractors.  The first one, and the closest (about 40 minutes away) was on vacation till August 14th.  We called the 2nd closest, in Munich, which is about 2 hours and 15 minutes away.  I made an appointment for the following Tuesday.

On Sunday, I was also finally able to talk to my sister.  My sister is gifted in the medical field and I can't keep track of what she's trained in or how many degrees she has...but she has done Sports Medicine for years, and is EMT certified...about the only two I can remember.  After about 5 minutes of me explaining my pain to her...over the phone...she knew exactly what the problem was (later confirmed by the chiropractor), and in about 10 minutes gave me about 5 exercises to do that should help release some of the pressure on my pinched nerve.  LOVE HER!!  (Makes me less fond of the Physical Therapy guy here.)

Spare you some of the other details in between...a friend and I drove down to Munich on Tuesday and let me just say....I LOVE CHIROPRACTORS!!!!  She wasn't able to give me a full adjustment since I'm pregnant but whatever she did do made a HUGE difference.  It wasn't an immediate fix since I still limped out of the office.  I felt sore that night so I made sure to ice when I got home, but I felt 10x's better on Wednesday, and by Thursday "practically" normal!!!  Best part; I haven't limped since Tuesday! 

I don't plan on going back unless it's gets unbearable again, but I'm so glad to know where they are and to be done with the search of having to locate one.  I'm praying that by sticking with the exercises my sister gave me, and scheduling a daily walk back into my day, it will help to keep the problem at it's minimum.  I really do appreciate all your prayers!  As a celebration of feeling better, we cleaned the house this weekend!  (Something that hasn't been done in a few weeks!)

My Old/New Frustration {Some Steam Involved}

So, if some of you remember last April (2011) my back decided one night after driving home from church that it was tired and didn't feel like functioning like it should.  I had trouble getting out of the car and I ended up having to "drop" Blaine down into his crib cause I couldn't bend over.  After a few visits to my local chiropractor I able to move again, and for the most part back to "normal".  Since it wasn't in our budget to go as often as they wanted me to I normally held out as long as I could and then went in for an adjustment. 

I think my last adjustment was in August of 2011.  I've had some problems here and there since we've moved, but if I waited about a week it would seem to settle down.  About a month ago I started having problems again.  Don't know why.  Just did.

About a week prior I had been at the Clinic to see my doctor and she gave me a referral for the Physical Therapy office that is on post.  I wasn't having back pain at the time, but wanted to try and be prepared for when it came.  I made an appointment to see him and got in about a week after my pain started.  It has been about five weeks and I have been to see him 3 times.  He gave me one specific stretch to do 5-6 times a day, 10 repetitions each. 

I originally went in with pain in my lower back and to the right.  This is generally where it shows up.  The stretches seemed to have taken care of that problem, but after doing them consistently for about a week it seemed to create a new, more painful pain.  The last time I saw him, about a week and a half ago, on a Monday.  I told him that I thought my pain had changed and it was moving more south to the lower of my lower back and even down into my tailbone area.  I had started having trouble standing up after sitting down for more than 30 seconds at a time.  My back locks up and it takes me a minute to stand up straight before I can even take a step.  (No jumping up quickly for anything/anyone!)  He encouraged me to keep up with the stretches and that my back locking up is my body's way of warning me and that I needed to stretch more. 

Advice taken and I went home and continued with my stretches as often as I could.  By Wednesday, I had pains shooting down my left leg whenever I stood or walked.  I could almost immediately feel my back tighten up anytime I sat down.  I had trouble getting my pants on, getting in and out of the shower, rolling over, etc.  I couldn't sit through the sermon on Sunday.  We sat in the back knowing that I would have to probably stand up for part of it.  Prior, I could find some comfort in lying down, but by Thursday/Friday, the pain was constant and there was no relief in anything.  Two nights I cried myself to sleep, begging/praying for God to take the pain from me if it be His will.  Many nights I've gone from bed, to couch, to bed trying to get comfortable and praying to fall back asleep.

This past Sunday, I stopped doing the stretches.  I noticed a significant difference Monday morning.  The pain isn't gone.  I still have trouble going from sitting to a standing position.  I still have some pain shooting down my leg, that occasionally causes me to walk with a limp.  The pain is still constant and is starting to wear on me.  I'm exhausted!  (That could be in part to normal 1st trimester tiredness as well.)

I have also been trying my best to search out other options the last two weeks.  I finally received my medical records, x-rays from my chiropractor in Texas.  From asking around, there is no local German chiropractor.  I had heard that there was a Doctor of Osteopathy (DO) stationed at the Clinic here in Bamberg.  A Doctor of Osteopathy has the ability to do spinal adjustments.  I had tracked him down and was praying that this was my answer.  I got an appointment with my doctor on Monday to hopefully get the referral to see this D.O.  I must have been exhausted and overwhelmed cause the second the nurse asked me how long ago my pain started..I started bawling.  Bawled my eyes out in front of two nurses and my doctor.  :)

And it didn't get better.  The D.O. won't touch me cause I'm pregnant.  Bawling continues.  My  doctor pretty much gave me three options.  1.  Take Tylenol and use some topical rub.  2.  If the pain got to be unbearable, I could go to the Klinikum (the German hospital) and they could hospitalize me.  3.  Hope that my OB can refer me to someone that can help me (which I had also previously considered as an option). 

So right now, I am still praying and holding onto the hope that my OB will know someone that is willing to work with me.  I'm willing to drive a few hours too!  And I don't care if they don't speak English!  I can find someone to go with me to translate if needed.  I had been putting off scheduling my first OB appointment since I'm still so early in my pregnancy, but after my appointment with my doctor I went ahead and called to schedule.  I have an appointment this coming Monday.

I think overall, it's so frustrating knowing that all I need is ONE adjustment!!!  I just need to find that one person who is willing/trained to touch a pregnant person.  While chiropractors seem as common as churches in the states, I can't seem to find one over here.  I really hope my OB knows someone! 

I also went ahead and scheduled another appointment with the Physical Therapy guy as well.  Maybe he can give me a different stretch for me to do.  I've googled a few myself and one seems to help some, so we'll see how that goes.

Other options we've considered.....I've looked into getting a massage just hoping it might move things gently back into place.  You have to be between month 3 and month 7 for a massage.  I'm still a few weeks shy of month 3.  This next idea is crazy, but it has crossed my mind, and Tim even suggested it this morning.  Buying a ticket and flying home to get an adjustment.  Craziness, right?!  Probably not really an option, but that seems to be where we are in our desperate-ness.

I am getting weary and worn out.  I am fed-up with the constant pain and not being able to perform my daily tasks!

Visible Pain

We live on a small post.  I'm not good with numbers...but it's small.  This past week a majority of the 173rd deployed.  It is a very visible pain.

The Lord saw fit to keep Timothy behind and we couldn't be more grateful for that blessing!  We just surpassed his one year mark returning home from his last deployment and if you haven't heard already, we are expecting baby #4!

It has been really hard to watch everyone go.  It has been even harder to watch the families left behind struggle through the first few days.  My heart hurts for them.  Tears have been shed for them.  It seems everywhere you turn there is someone else who's husband just left. 

In our three deployments I don't think we have ever felt the weight of a deployment like we do now.  For the first, we were only dating/engaged and I was no where near his post.  The second..I was in OK, he deployed out of TX.  At that time, I only knew one other woman who's husband deployed.  Our deployments overlapped for a bit, so we spent a lot of time together for a while.  :)  The most recent, back in Texas it was more of a reality.  There were many other ladies of the church that we went to who's husbands were military and they had either just come off a deployment or were going into a deployment within the next year. 

This past week not everyone was deployed, but out of the friends we have made so far, and the soldiers that have been coming over on the weekends...they have all gone.  All but one...and he leaves within the next two weeks. :( 

Again, I'm not great with numbers, but with the Unit that just left, and another Unit that is already gone, and one more about to leave, I would say it's safe to say that a majority of the post that is left are wives and children.

Even the chapel was more barren than normal this past Sunday and there seemed to be an unspoken weight that surrounded the morning.

In PWOC we have been going thru the Basic Series by Francis Chan.  This past week was the video on Fellowship and what God intended it to be; demonstrated in the early church.  There was a topic interwoven through the morning though that was obviously only orchestrated by God Himself.  Lonliness.  In a post this small, so far away from everything that is "familiar", a lot of women tend to pull into themselves and struggle with isolation and lonliness.  Add on top of that a deployment. 

For me, this truth seemed to cry out this past week.  The pain that is so real to this post became much more evident.

The pain is visible in the faces of the wives left behind. The wound is deep. In the last five days alone three new faces/names of women have been laid heavy on my heart as the Lord has revealed them to me. They are hurting. They are struggling.  They are crying out psalms of desperation.  Some are Christians.  Some of them are not.

Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:

I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.  -Ecclesiastes 4:1

My heart wishes to take their pain away.  How can I possibly be a friend to all of them?!  How can I possibly serve all of them?!  But as another friend said recently in her blog, "I am not their Savior."  He is.  Such a great reminder that nothing I do for these women is as great as what He can give them.  Generally speaking, I can provide dinner, a playdate, and a listening ear.  He can provide a peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).  He IS the great comfortor.  He is the great sustainer!

The Son (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (OUR SUSTAINER!)  And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,  and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. -Colossians 1:15-20

There is nothing greater than to be securely held in the arms of our Creator!

I just pray that we would be able to create a fellowship with everyone the Lord leads our way; leaving them more deeply aware of the Savior that He is.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. -Ephesians 3:14-21

 Even though my husband is here, I believe my heart will continue aching and I will be praying just as ferevently as the rest for the next 9 months to pass quickly!

Who Am I {as A Christian Woman}

When Tim and I got married a very dear friend/mentor gave me a copy of Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  I read it then, but picked it up again recently needing something to encourage me.  It's an easy read in the sense that each chapter is only 2-4 pages long.  And with three kids running around I can actually get through one or two chapters in one sitting (5 minutes max).  :)  I also love that these are her own personal letters to her daughter.  Advice on love, marriage, life, and being the woman that God made you to be.  I just wanted to share some of the things that have stuck out to me this time around.

"In order to learn what it means to be a woman.  We must start with the One who made her."

"I remember how it was.  Your father (not my fiance yet) made the three-week voyage by sea from San Pedro, California, to Ecuador, stopping at fascinating ports along the way from which he sent me fascinating letters.  He began his study of Spanish in Quito without me.  He made his first trip to the jungle where he was later to work.  He had his first opportunity to do medical work, his first crack at an unwritten language---all of these things I myself longed to do, and longed desperately to do with him.  'Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living,' he wrote to me, and those words have helped me very often since.  We accept and thank God for what is given, not allowing the not-given to spoil it."

"The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe. 'The beauty of Thy peace' shines forthin an ordered life.  A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul."

"...This is the crux of the question of liberty and liberation.  Does it mean casting off all restrictions? (Could a ship sail without them?)  Does it mean doing what we feel like doing and not doing what we don't?  It means discipline.  It means doing the thing we were meant for.  What is it to which we are called, women under God?"

"We are called to be women.  The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.  For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be."