February {In Pictures}

In our full bathroom there is this low ledge that runs along the entire back wall.  I really don't know if it was built with an intentional purpose, but Blaine seems to think it was made for him.  ;)  I can't count the times I have found him in there sitting on the ledge.

Brotherly love...

 

Blaine playing with his "new" (Melissa & Doug) toy.  Ryan and I took our recycling out on a Sunday afternoon and found this toy and another Melissa & Doug toy set out for recycling.  They were in great shape, and since out stuff hadn't arrived yet I snatched them up.

 

Blaine's second most favorite spot in the house is inside any closet.

Colin playing with our new friend, Miss Kelsie, on one of the "warmer" days during the first few weeks here.

This is the look Blaine rocked most of the time the first few weeks.  Again, this was on a "nicer" day, otherwise he'd have his bigger coat on and swaddled in a blanket.  The plastic though would keep the snow/rain/wind out and in theory, we believe, make a little heat bubble for him.

 

Blaine being silly with his newly found utensil skills.

 

Ryan and Colin playing in their "sneaky hats".

Again, in another closet.

Trying to pass the time as we wait for our movers to deliver our household goods...

And this is what you may look like the day after delivery day, when your parents decide to make a trip to IKEA, on a SATURDAY no less, and you loose your bear (comfort item) somewhere in the store, refuse your afternoon nap since you don't have your bear, then fall asleep sitting up around 6:30 PM.  :)

 

I realized in January that I really hadn't taken many pictures of Blaine as I did of Ryan and Colin at that age...typical right.  So I did my best to be more intentional about getting my camera out.  Now I'm noticing I took a lot of Blaine and only a few of Ryan and Colin.  Something to adjust. :)

Free Time

Since we haven’t had the Internet for the last two months and nothing else in the house to do I’ve noticed the amount of free time I have had and how I use it.  I’m definitely looking forward to getting our things and the Internet back, but I hope to be more disciplined about how I spend my time.  

I think I finished about four books in the first few weeks we were here.  Granted they were all pretty easy reads…but that’s more than I’ve read in the last year.  I always seemed to finish them sooner than I thought I would too.  I would make a trip up to the CAC (Community Activity Center. AKA Free Internet) to download a book thinking it would last me a few days…only to be finished the following day stuck with nothing else to read.

Tim seemed to take over the Kindle for a few days reading a book of his own, so I think I lost my momentum.  I have two more that I’ve started but I believe both are going to be very spiritually challenging.  There’s a part of me that is somewhat scared to continue.  I’ve been praying over the last few days that I will be prepared to accept whatever it is the Lord wants to teach me through reading these books.  

Anyway.  Free time.

I swept a lot.  I found myself sweeping three or four times a day.  I would even mop.  Cleaning in general.  The bathrooms got cleaned once a week, opposed to every other.  I kept up with the dishes for the most part.

I was more consistent with helping Ryan with his reading.

I can’t say all my time was used wisely.

There was one day where my sole goal was to beat Tim’s record on the Dojo portion of Fruit Ninja on our Kindle.  I am proud to say I succeeded! 

My New Norm

9 February 2012

To say I’ve had a little trouble adjusting is probably an understatement.  I’ve definitely made my complaints known to some and pouted in my own way.  I know my attitude hasn’t been the best, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to flip it.

While reading Loving the Little Years, there was a chapter that has really stuck in my mind.  Here’s a few clips….

One of the most difficult things my children can do is grow.  And they just keep doing it, don’t they?  It seems like we just find a routine and things are fairly manageable.   I am feeling pretty good about the laundry, about the discipline, and about the whole situation.   Then it seems like we wake up one morning and nothing works anymore.

…It is like all my children have a growth spurt at the same time and develop new needs.  This is only a problem when Mom doesn’t have a growth spurt herself.  Even more of a problem when Mom refuses to have one, and demands that everyone else get back into clothes that are too tight. 

…You know those pain scales at the hospital, where they rate your pain from one to ten?  Well, pretend that you are screaming, “Thirteen, thirteen! Fifteen!”  What that should tell you is that it is time to restart the whole thing, stop screaming, and just deal with the fact that this in now the new “one”.  Start over, and accept the new “normal”.

While in this chapter she was speaking specifically to the changes that your kids go through (ie no longer needing a nap) which causes a change/response in your entire family structure, I have been faced with MANY changes that require a better response that what what I have given so far.

I’m taking this advice and in my mind I’m turning around everything that is new and inconvenient and doing my best to make it the new norm.

My new norm is….

·         An Average of 10 degrees lately.  *Not including windchill.
·         Walking Ryan to school at 7:30 in the morning, in the 10 degree weather, sometimes while it’s snowing, with Colin and Blaine in tow.  (And why yes…coincidentally, it is uphill. J )
·         Making multiple trips to the Commissary in one week opposed to my normal twice a month.
·         Hardwood floors; which in turn means never-ending immense amounts of visible dirt /salt/snow/muddy water tracked in from outside. (Still trying to figure out how to conquer this one!)
·         Waking Blaine and Colin up prematurely from their afternoon naps so we can walk back to school to pick Ryan up.
·         The strong possibility that Tim will only make it home in time for dinner *maybe* twice a week.  Lately we are blessed if he makes it home before the boys are already in bed.
·         Other joys of apartment living. (See previous post here.)
·         Burning various things as we are learning the temperament of our “new” oven. (haha..I just realized I used temperament when describing the oven.  Real corny.)

It hasn’t done me any good to complain about much of these things that I can’t change.  I’m praying I can keep the refreshed outlook and it will help the adjustment go a bit smoother.

Book Review {Loving The Little Years}

Talk about an easy read!  I think I finished this book in a matter of hours!  Seriously.  It has 20 chapters, but the longest chapter is no more than 6 pages long.  If you haven’t read a parenting book in a while and need a place to start I would suggest this one!  Even if you only have five minutes of quiet…that’s at least one chapter down.  Even though the chapters are short they are straight and to the point and will leave you thinking and adjusting.

 (amazon.com)

I first learned of this book through a friend, Jordan.  You can find her blog here.  She has referenced some of the author’s other articles in her postings in the past and I always found myself deeply challenged by them.  The author, Rachel, has five children herself, all under the age of five.  I’m not exactly sure what I thought the book would be about, but I don’t think it was exactly what I thought it was going to be.  I still loved it all the same. 

She had me in the first paragraph of the first chapter:

If there is anything I have learned in the course of my fast and furious mothering journey, it is that there is only one thing in my entire life that must be organized.  The kids can be running like a bunch of banshees through a house that appears to be at the bottom of a toaster, and yet, if organization and order can still be found in my attitude, we are doing well.  But if my attitude falters even in the midst of external order, so does everything else.

Yes, my attitude is always my nemesis.

Some other little tidbits:

As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first.  This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

It is no abstract thing-the state of your heart is the state of your home.  You cannot harbor resentment secretly toward your children and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender.  You cannot be greedy with your time and expect them to share their toys.  And perhaps most importantly, you cannot resist your opportunities to be corrected by God and expect them to receive correction from you.

While your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice.  Sacrifice your peace for their fun.

Fat souls are better than clean floors……Most of the time the children do not know that what they are doing is overwhelming.  This is because they do not forget that they are individuals.  Now I am not saying that there are not times when I just say, “Sorry kids, not a good time for helpers.”  I do plenty of that.  It is just that a whole lot of time it is a fine time for helpers—even a good time for them, if I am willing to get the grace for it.

If you want some quality “me time,” make a date with your husband.  Do something special with your children.  These people are you.  Your identity is supposed to be intertwined—that is the way God wrote the story, and it is the way He intends us to read it.

She also shares some great examples on how to teach the children and has great metaphors throughout the book.  Some that I never would have thought of.

Setting behaviors into stories is a great way to communicate with your little people.  Got a boy hitting a sister?  Tell him about a brave knight who went out to fight the dragon but started hitting the princess instead.  Give the children a chance to get outside themselves and see their behavior as it plays out in a story.  It often turns out that they know exactly the right thing to do.

And again, another book pointing to the importance on focusing on the heart.

It is important to stick to principles, teach principles, and then sort out the details in the light of them.  You need to look at what you think is happening in hearts and address that.

I could go on and on.  There were so many good things in this book!  Just one more though…

Joy is not giddy.  It is not an emotional rush—it is what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil.  So rejoice in your children.  Look them in the eyes and give thanks.  You will not even remember the work of all this planting when the harvest of joy overwhelms you.

Rumor Has It

Lots of talk has been going around as far as what Tim’s Battalion is doing once they get through this deployment.  The battalion he is with now is just a support section to the main unit which is in Italy.  Apparently, after this deployment the support unit will no longer be based in Bamberg.  

There was originally talk that the soldiers would have a choice to either stay with the 173^rd and move to Italy when the deployment is over and start their 3 year tour over, or they could transfer to a different unit and stay in Bamberg.  

The fact that they are giving the option to the soldiers sounded a little “too good to be true”.  Talk has already changed that there will be no choice to make and that everyone will be going.  Some have even said that they plan on moving the families to Italy during the deployment and the soldiers won’t even return here.  I was wondering how they planned to accommodate all of the families that would be moving there and rumors are they have built/are building new housing for the battalion in Italy.

The latest “rumor” that came around this week is that they are only going to activate 60% of Tim’s Battalion for the upcoming deployment.  Meaning that there is a 40% chance that Tim won’t have to go.  Still not the best odds, but we’ll take it!!!  My heart cries out prayers all day that he is in the 40%, but at the same time I don’t want to get my hopes up.  There is also a part of me that feels selfish to ask such a thing when there are still many families who will still have to endure another deployment.  

We only get pieces of information every few weeks and the ARMY is fickle so it’s hard to say at this point…but it looks like we might be moving to Italy at some point.  That also means we could be in Europe for up to 4 ½ years.  So for those of you who would like to come visit…that gives you a little bit larger of a window.   :)

Book Review {5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son}

Thank you Sarah for recommending this book!  I loved reading it and I think it only took me about a week.  It was refreshing, eye-opening, at times brutally honest which also made it a little scary a times for the task that is at hand.  It will definitely need to be re-read every few years to make sure some of the conversations are being discussed; especially in the pre-teen/teen years.

 (amazon.com)

There are some great topics in this book!  Discussions on today’s image of a man, helicopter mom’s, self-control,  a new and improved sex talk, co-habitation, marrying at a younger age, and launching your boys from boyhood to adulthood!

Most importantly, Vicky stresses throughout the book the importance of the heart of the matter.  It’s a great message that I first read/understood when reading Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp a few years ago.  It is something I truly believe in and long to do but I think I have strayed from it a bit lately. 

In a later chapter Vicky makes it clear:

The truth is we can train our sons to be chivalrous, polite, obedient, selfless, honest, and humble, but if their behavior is not motivated by a love for Christ and a desire to follow Him, they are relying on goodness rather than godliness.  Isaiah 64:6 reminds us that our righteous acts are like filthy rags.  But the sternest warning comes from Christ and His harsh words to the Pharisees:  “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!  You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.  Blind Pharisee!  Fist clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean” (Matt. 23:25-26).

Employing behavior modification strategies without addressing the heart does nothing more than put a BAND-AID on the problem.  We must get to the heart of the matter.

It is easy to react to our sons’ sins with a set of swift consequences that discourage a repeat of the sins.  However, we need to take the time to address the sins at the heart level in an effort to offer a permanent solution.   We can’t make our sons experience godly sorrow or, for that matter, even repent, but we can remind them of their need for a Savior and the price that was paid.

For me, this is a great reminder/challenge about what is most important when disciplining my boys.  It’s easy to focus on the behavior and not take the time to help them slow down and focus on their heart and where it is in relation to God’s Word.  And, most of the book does at times seem like the conversations will come into play at a later age…but this...this I can do this now.  I can start laying the foundation of teaching them to mirror every action next to the Word of God.

I know a few of you who have also been seeking books specifically on raising boys.  Vicky has done her research and there are plenty of references to choose from throughout her book!  Most are not books specifically on how to raise boys, but from how I see it…just understanding boys in general.  Here are a few that I think might be worth looking into, if you haven’t heard of them already:

1.       The Mind of Boys by Michael Gurian.  He has trained teachers to handle the differences between girls and boys, and makes suggestions on how to help boys in the classroom.
2.       Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. 
3.       Boys Must Be Boys by Meg Meeker.
4.       Raising Sons and Loving It! By Gary and Carrie Oliver
5.       Making Sense of the Men in Your Life by Kevin Leman
6.       That’s My Son by Rick Johnson

A few of these are definitely going on my list!!!

Vicky also has a section on her website that her husband put together containing activities and a list of books/training materials that they used for reinforcing each of the conversations discussed in the book.  Since we don’t currently have Internet I haven’t been able to look at them, but I’m excited to see what is there!  Just in case you beat me to it you can co here {www.vickicourtney.com} then click on the link to the 5 Conversations blog.

I do believe there is one paragraph that sticks out more so than any other in the book.  I remember my friend, Sarah, referencing to it as well when she read it.

Deep in a mother’s heart, she knows that when it comes time for her son to leave, he will leave both physically and emotionally.  He will eventually turn his attention to another woman who will become the recipient of his adoration.  Of course our sons will still love us, but their feelings won’t be manifested in the same way a daughter’s feelings would be toward her mother.  Our role is to prepare them to love another, all the while, enjoying every minute of the brief season when we reign as queen in their hearts. 

If you are a mother of a boy…doesn’t that just make your heart ache a little?!  It’s a gentle reminder of how precious my time is with my boys and I know I take it for granted all too often.  

  If you have a girl she has a book for you too!  5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter.

January {In Pictures}

I'm following the lead of a good friend and I am going to try to post all my left-over pics...or in some cases all of my pics, from the month that I never seemed to get around to.  Some are from the week before we flew to Germany here goes...

The boys were outside playing so Blaine and Baylee decided to take over the job as Super-heroes...

We decided to be Red-neck family one day and we all (6 adults, 6 kids, and 1 dog) jumped in Tim's truck and drove to the back pasture to do some shooting.

This is Liz getting the first set of instructions..

 This was the first time the boys got to shoot and they were super excited! 

 

Liz & Baylee

 

 

Yes, I did shoot...just didn't get any pics of it.  Tim did get it on video though!

This was a shot Tim snapped of me packing.  I was attempting to get our carry-ons all sorted.

The boys in the Frankfurt Airport...the morning after the nightmare.

In guest housing.  Blaine was throwing a fit so I put him on the floor for a minute to cry it out.  Next thing we knew..he was fast asleep.  

 

Blaine awake and playing with the phone...at 3 o'clock IN THE MORNING!!!

 

 In our new house!!!! The boys helped me clean the kitchen before we put anything away.